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*Auctions Anonymous

I had a flash of insight while sitting at my last auction. It was after 10 pm, I was alone, it was a Friday night, and I started wondering what in the heck was so fascinating about auctions that I was willing to spend so much time at one when I have so many other things that I should be doing…and all of a sudden, it hit me: bidding at auctions is like gambling. 

First, a quick word about gambling: when my parents came to visit me in Chicago years and years ago, I was looking for something to entertain them with; there are several Riverboat casinos in the Chicago vicinity and, though no one in my family — beside my brother, who will sometimes play blackjack when he gets the opportunity — had ever been to a casino before, I thought it might be fun to give it a try. My Mom and I walked in, put our first quarters in a slot machine,  and it was like a scene out of a cartoon: we had dollar signs instead of eyeballs. If we hadn’t been lucky enough to have Justin and my Dad with us, I’m not sure what might have happened. As it was, I spent all of the cash I had brought with me,  visited the cash machine once, and Justin had to stop me from hitting it a second time after all that money was gone. It was crazy, and three hours later, I was standing out in the parking garage, blinking dazedly against the midday light, wondering what in the hell had come over me. My Mom and I realized that Tunica, Mississippi was around a three-hour car trip from where they lived in Little Rock and we usually would go and spend a night there when I came down to visit them from Chicago.  After that first trip, we managed our money a lot more conservatively — we set a limit for ourselves and wouldn’t overspend that limit — but one time Mom won a ton of money on a slot machine (I want to say nearly $400) and she lost it all in the same machine. I was sitting next to her, telling her to cash out, cash out, cash out, but her glazed expression indicated that nothing was getting through to her. Afterward, she couldn’t believe she had done it. You just lose yourself in the lie that where there is $400, there is probably $400 more, just waiting to come to you, and this next quarter is going to be the one to do it. Whoops, not that quarter, but surely the one after it. Nope, this next one. Until you’re looking at a balance of $3.75.

It’s obvious that I have an addictive personality when it comes to gambling, and auctions play into that personality trait: you don’t know how much money you’ll need to spend, but if you spend enough, you might hit the jackpot. It’s competitive, you sometimes have to bluff (make the person bidding against you think you’ll have no problem bidding this mixing bowl up to $150 so they’d better just drop out now), and if you just commit to spending $2 more, you’ll get that print that you love so much…no? Okay, just $2 more, then…no? Well, what’s another $2? And:  you usually walk out of the joint with the realization that you spent way more than you intended.

I’ve only been to two different auction houses in Northwest Arkansas (Shara’s been to way more and has her favorites…can’t wait to go to an auction with her) but they are both completely different, both in their merchandise and their employees. The clientele mostly overlaps, and a big percentage of the people who go know each other. Friday night I was at Ken’s Auction House, in Springdale, where I went about a month ago to an auction that was held right after the big snow we had. He had a TON of stuff, because he had to cancel two auctions due to the weather, and because it was a Sunday and not technically my day to venture off the reservation I was nervous about staying too long, so I ended up only buying a couple of small mixing bowls (they are beautiful and bargain priced at $5…not many people bid on mixing bowls at Ken’s). I had my eye on several things there that I reluctantly left behind because of my time constraints, but when I showed up on Friday night, everything I had eyeballed the last time was still there! Unlike Larry Williams, auctions at Ken’s don’t go on until all of the merchandise is gone:  as one of his employees told me, he sells until he gets tired, then tells the people who are left to grab what they want off the shelf and bring it up to the table and he auctions those items off and then it’s over. At that point, you have to commit to a $5 opening bid, which, for most stuff, is fine, but you do miss out on that chance to get things for $1 or $2, which is sometimes a possibility. Friday night started out PACKED — I stood in the back for about an hour before climbing over some people to get to a seat in the middle of the back row.

If there’s anyone out there reading who thought that I didn’t come home with a mixing bowl or two…you have not been reading long enough. I am hoping this one will finance the other two I bought, which I would like to keep. It’s almost 12 inches in diameter and I paid $22 for it, which is a lot, I know, but I’m hoping I can sell it for a decent profit.

After I bought these, the very confused couple sitting next to me said “We just have to ask you what you’re going to do with those.” And I was like, “Hmmm….I’m not sure.” I checked Pinterest to see if there were any interesting ideas; looks like some people use clock casings for shadow boxes or dioramas but it’s hard to see what you’ve got inside of them because it’s so dark. I’m wondering if I can somehow use them as frames. You will be the first to know once I figure it out.

This is a pretty big mirror, over three feet, and is really cool…except it’s damaged up at the top. The crack is under the surface of the mirror, but definitely visible, which is why I only paid $5 for it. I’m wondering if I can fashion some kind of decorative accent out of one or two of my vintage millinery flowers to disguise the flaw? Would that look cheesy?

By about 10 pm, it had cleared out quite a bit, and around 10:45, he made the announcement to grab what you wanted. It’s so fun. For the most part, you’re pretty much assured of getting your item for less than $10, unless it’s a hotly contested item, which none of mine were. I picked up another cuckoo clock for $5. This one I MIGHT be able to part with after I paint it. Remember the last one?

Yeah, haven’t been able to let go of it. Here’s the new one.

Theeeeeeennnnn things got a little hairy. Ken was getting tired and instead of auctioning things off one at a time, he ended up putting about 12-14 items out on a table and doing “Choice of.” Now it got risky, because you didn’t know if people were going to go after your item or not. I’m a naturally paranoid person who thinks that everyone loves what I love, so I was particularly vulnerable to this little ploy, and I ended up paying $16 instead of holding out for $5 for Alice Blue Gown:

I’m not that sad about it. I really do love her. The frame itself is so beautiful, and I bought her to keep instead of re-selling her, so I’m not too upset.

I did okay on these two items, for which I bit my lip and waited until the bidding halted at $6:

(The one on the left came from All My Treasures yesterday — 75% off!)

I am in deep and abiding love with this little, 4 inch mixer.

Which brings me to my last mixing bowl purchase. There was a set of these that included one larger than the one I brought home (I’m sure at one point there was a smaller one but it was nowhere to be found). When I first brought it to the table to be auctioned off at the end of the night I had high hopes to get each of them for $5, but then Ken went to choice, and I knew I was screwed. Still, I bit my tongue and waited through two rounds and no one took either bowl. The third round was for $13, and even thought I thought the pair was worth $26, I just couldn’t commit to that price, and was relieved to see that a man I was familiar with had won the bidding. He is my imaginary friend, meaning I like him and smile and say hello every time I see him, but he generally doesn’t notice and wouldn’t know me from Adam. He’s nice but not overly friendly, not pushy at all, but has a very forthright way of bargaining at yard sales and estate sales that I admire. He’s got long hair and on Friday was wearing John Lennon glasses, further endearing himself to me. ANYWAY, he always goes for the mantique sort of item, so I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was he walking towards the table… UNTIL HE GRABBED THE LARGER OF THE TWO BLUE BOWLS. WHAT THE WHAT??? Not only are you going to take my bowl, but you’re going to split the set? OH NO HE DI’INT. You sir, are no longer my imaginary friend. When Ken asked if anyone wanted anything else from the table for $13, I MAY have pushed an old lady over to get to this bowl.

Isn’t it beautiful? You know what would make it prettier? IF THERE WERE TWO OF THEM. About ten minutes after this transaction, my imaginary friend said to me, “I think you got the better deal…when I took a closer look at mine, I saw it had a hairline crack.” Now was my perfect chance to offer him $13 for it but it didn’t even occur to me. And I don’t know where he sells, so I can’t even see if I can try and find it. As I was leaving, he DID say, “Don’t I see you at yard sales sometimes?” And I said “Yes! The last sale I saw you at was the Hill Street Estate Sale!” And we reminisced about what a great sale that was. So now maybe he’ll at least say hi back the next time I see him!

There’s an auction on Monday night at the other auction house, and I will probably be there. I justify it by saying that there aren’t yard sales right now, and I need to get merchandise from somewhere, but there are two problems with this rationale: first, I am finding way more things that I want to keep for myself rather than re-sell, and second, I spend more money than I do at yard sales. Like the milk glass vase up there: I don’t think I would have paid $5 for that at a yard sale — it would’ve seemed too expensive at that price. But in the context of the auction, it starts to sound like a bargain. If you try and visit my blog and it appears to have been shut down, it is because I have bankrupted myself and my family through this addiction.

BTW: I am now on Instagram. Shara told me a while ago how much fun it is but until two weeks ago, I had a flip phone that didn’t even have an internet connection…I am rather low-tech in the phone area. But Justin saved all gift cards for two years and had enough after Christmas to buy us both new iPhones. Never thought I would have a phone so fancy and the thing I was most excited about was the ability to Instagram. I’m prettyquirkyblog and you can click on the Instagram button to the right of this post to find me.

One last thing…I completely forgot to show you what Shara brought for the twins’ birthday. A gift so cute and clever that only Shara could have created it.

There are two of them, of course, and you can probably guess that the other one is holding a “Jack” banner. The kids were so impressed that these gorillas knew their names even before they met them. Trust Shara to bring a bit of vintage cleverness to the party!

Hope you are all staying warm. Seems like most of the country is layered in snow right now, and we’re no exception…flakes still coming down and school cancelled for tomorrow. Let’s all hold on to the hope of Spring, shall we?

Linking up with The Nifty Thrifty at A Living Space and Make it Pretty Monday at The Dedicated House.